I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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