The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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