Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
