What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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