I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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