I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
