everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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