That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
