so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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