Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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