Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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