is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
