You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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