Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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