I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
