I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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