I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
