Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
