If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love having hate sex.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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