haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
