Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
