the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
