There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
