Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
