I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
