well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
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