The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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