I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Fuck appropriateness.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
