dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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