I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
