dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
