Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I need to calm my uterus...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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