Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
