Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
