once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
