She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
