Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
