the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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