i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
