Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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