yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
