he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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