They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
