The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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