I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
