Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
