hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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