I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
