Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
