I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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