Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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