You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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