he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize