you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
