they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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