He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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