Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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